Wardrobe Malfunctions
by Chang-Tong
Summary: There are just some things you aren't supposed to wear into battle... or just wear in general!
1. There goes the bride's dress!

**Okay, there is something in the game that honestly made me raise my eyebrows with amusement, so I wanted to make a story about that. Also, there very little AI fics around here which is kinda disappointing to me because I LOVE the Atelier Iris series. So when I had an idea for it, I thought "Why not?" So… here we are! I hope you guys enjoy reading it at least! **

**Especially you Aion 13! Hope you have fun reading it!**

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**Ch:1 There goes the bride's dress!**

Edge Vanhite had never before seen anything embarrassing before in his life. So embarrassing, that it was to the point of it being too painful to even _watch_. He never had exuberant friends that would be willing do almost anything they thought was a good idea. Granted, he never _had_ a lot of friends, but the people that he knew at the guild were always either calm, formal or polite (not including Phenyl, of course), so there was nothing that ever made him question his sanity.

…But when you are close friends with Iris Fortner and Nell Ellis, there are always some _outrageous _things that they would like to do that would make a person pretend that they had never met them.

It all started when they have received that request from Yach, the shop-keeper of the potions shop. He had wanted them to make an extravagant wedding dress for a female friend of his.

Iris had successfully created the dress with no problems with the help of her skills as an alchemist and as well as the use of some extra materials that they had collected from the Alterworlds.

After the threesome had it delivered did then Nell spoke up about how "romantic" it would be if they could get to wear a wedding gown while fighting monsters. Even though she wasn't completely serious about actually _doing_ it, Iris had absolutely loved the idea. So much, that when they had returned to the workshop later that day, she had immediately went to create two more wedding gowns for the both of them.

…And here he is now. Walking through the Posporia Battlegrounds behind two girls that are dressed in the frilliest, brightest, flamboyant wedding gowns that he had _ever_ seen.

"Iris, Nell… tell me again why it's a good idea going into a battle while wearing a… a… a _wedding gown, _of all things?" he almost pleaded, looking out for any monsters or battles that they might have to avoid. It's better than looking at the sight of the two girls in front of him.

Even though he already strongly voiced his opposition to the idea several times back at the workshop, the girls were not to be swayed. It wasn't until they both had put on their gowns that Edge had reluctantly given up on trying to change their minds.

The trip to the portal of the Alterworld was not at all comfortable either. When the threesome had left the workshop, Edge had suggested taking a fairy's cab to take them to the Beastmen's quarters. To his absolute horror and dismay, they waved off the idea, claiming it's best to save up as much money as they can, since they had spent a huge sum of them into buying medical supplies and alchemy recipes.

And also, because of the fact that they have little to no customers to earn their desired income, the fairies have temporarily raised the price of their rides. Edge knew about this even before he asked, but he still wanted to avoid facing the humiliation of having everyone in town staring at them as they pass by.

…Unfortunately for the red-head, that's _exactly _what has happened. Everyone on the streets and nearby shops had stopped their current activities to gape, stare and point at them. Manna and Ella had also come out of their respective shops to witness the spectacle, eyes wide and urgently whispering to each other.

He had a strong, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that everyone in town will definitely know about this by tomorrow.

Even Papal, who had been playing with Gon when they passed by the fountain, had ran to back to her house to get a bouquet of flowers. When she, along with Kuu in tow, had gotten back up with them, she had proceeded to throw flower petals in their wake as 'their flower girl' while Kuu is holding up a pillow with cheap plastic toy rings as 'their ring bearer' while chanting _'Here comes the bride… dum, dum, da-daa!'_ repeatedly. The innocent green-headed girl and the 'cool, awesome raider in training' (or that's what Kuu had dubbed himself nowadays) had assumed that they were 'playing wedding' and had wanted to join in the fun.

So by the time they had reached the Beastmen Quarters, Edge had wanted nothing more to do other than to just crawl underneath a rock and _stay_ there.

"Why not? It's a lot of fun," the alchemist replies cheerfully.

"Yeah. Besides, don't you think we look pretty, Edge?" Nell giggles childishly, swaying her dress from side to side.

They were passing through the fairies' territory by now. After handing over the dress to Yach, and before heading back to their house, they had went back to the Guild to see if there are any other jobs that they could take to earn some more money. There was a request from a peddler that needed some claws from an owl-bear to make some kind of charm. The pay was good and reasonable, so they had accepted.

Edge smacks a hand to his forehead irritably, "It's not the fact whether you guys are good-looking or not. A wedding gown is not the best choice to wear to go into battle with! The skirt would get in the way of your footing, it's restricting almost all of your movements, it offers little to no defense, not to mention that it can easily get snagged by a monster or onto something else. Can you see what I'm getting at?"

"It's alright, don't worry about us," Iris reassures him, "I'm sure we can handle it. And the dresses have a high-resistance to any elemental damage, so we're not going to have any problems at all with any magic thrown at us."

Edge started to say something else before closing his mouth. He let's out a defeated sigh instead, "Fine… if that's what you want."

"Oooh! Guys look! There's an owl-bear over there!" Nell points towards the large red creature that is a few distances away in a wide clearing excitedly.

Edge slowly drew his weapon out from his back and got into his attacking stance. "All right…" he whispers, "Let's get this over with."

With that, he charges towards the monster with a battle cry before delivering a heavy slash to it's side. The owl-bear roared in pain, angered at the sudden attack. Edge continues to attack it, jumping out of the way when it's necessary. With it's body weight and it's large build, the owl-bear has a hard time moving away and Edge would always notice when it's going to attack him.

Unfortunately, Edge has miscalculated a move and the owl-bear took that moment to throw the red-head a far distance away with a heavy paw. Edge's head crashes against a nearby tree and his body fell limply to the ground.

"Edge!" Iris calls out in concern. Too worried about her childhood friend may be suffering a concussion to think about her actions, Iris quickly rushes forward to his form. However, since the owl-bear is in the way of getting to the red-head, the alchemist quickly charges up her powers.

"My powers…" she started to chant as blue runes swirled around her body as she continues running, "…UNLEASH!"

Large blue beams rained down upon the owl-bear, making it roar from the extreme pain being dealt to it. When it was finally over, the owl-bear angrily shot a huge paw out, managing to grab onto Iris' wedding skirt before she could get away. The bear pulls it's paw back…

…when the sound of fabric getting ripped echoes around the area. Nell's mouth was agape at the sight in front of her. Edge, who is now sitting up and rubbing his head to get rid of a headache, looks up.

Only to snap his head the other way as a dark blush spread across his face. Even the monster was staring in confusion at the object it now held in it's paw.

Iris, who is currently at the centre of the attention at the moment, also had a shock and embarrassed look on her face. Her wedding gown is now missing almost all of the fabric from the waist down, revealing her white cotton panties in all of it's glory for the entire world to see.

With a heavy blush and a high-pitched squeak, Iris took refugee in one of the thick bushes in the area. "You big stupid monster pervert!" Nell screams angrily, charging forward with her lance pointing towards the monster's chest, where it's heart is. Too slow to move to defend itself, Nell's lance found true to it's mark as she finishes it off.

Knowing that it's done for, but still wanting to have it's revenge, the owl-bear uses the last of it's remaining strength to grab onto the startled teen before throwing her as hard as it could into one of the trees. With her lance still lodged deep in it's chest, the monster let out a dying roar before falling to the ground unmoving.

Using his sword to prop himself up, Edge looks towards where the monster has thrown Nell, only to see the blond hanging by the hem of her shirt on a tree branch that is a few feet above the ground. "H-Hey! Help! Get me down from here!" Nell squirms around frantically, her feet dangling in mid-air.

Suddenly, for the second time that day, there was another sound of fabric ripping as Nell's wedding shirt is torn open. Nell let out a surprised yelp as she fell towards the ground heavily, now topless as her wedding shirt is still dangling against the tree branch.

She frantically tried to cover up her chest as she ran towards the same bushes that Iris was hiding in. She quickly jumps in and a few seconds later, both of the girls meekly poke their heads out to look at the only male in their party.

Edge sighs before rubbing his head awkwardly. "Well, now we _all_ know why we should _not_ wear wedding gowns into battle," he spoke sheepishly.

Suddenly, the threesome found that their bodies appears to be fading away from the background.

"Crap! Our time here in the Alterworld has run out!" Edge swore. If their time has run out, the party will automatically be transported right in front of the Alterworld's entry gate.

One thing's for sure… They're going to have a hard time going back home.

This will be heard all over town and in the news by tomorrow, they were sure of it.

The moral of this story… DON'T _ever_ wear a wedding gown unless if you're getting married. That's the only thing it's made for. For other things… it's a bad luck charm.

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**And… that's it for this chapter! I **_**might**_** write more chapters about the other weird clothings you get to wear… IF you review!**

**This is not only for Grand Phantasm… but for Eternal Mana and Azoth of Destiny as well.**

**So if you want me to write about a particular strange clothing that you like from ANY of these three AI series, let me know in your reviews! Like the "Erotic Bikini" made by Veola in Eternal Mana! Boy… I sure want to write about THAT one! I will work on it if nobody's giving any other requests.**

**Ciao!**


	2. Sexy Robe

**I'm back! Sorry for the late update of this fic for those who were waiting for it. I have other fics and matters to attend. But that is not to say I will put this story on complete hiatus… I will just update this fic slower than the others. So… if you like this story… just be patient with me, okay? ;D**

**Oh, and I have changed the layout of the house in which the party of AI: ET stays in. I know… but I don't find it realistic that beds are all kept right behind a staircase, in the exact same room as where the kitchen should be. There just seems like there's no privacy if you live there, you know what I mean?**

**Also, both Marietta and Arlin will be in this chapter. The timeline should be the night after the party defeated Mull and Amalgam, and they have returned to Kavoc. Just wanted to clear this up. I'm sure Arlin fans would be happy to hear that. XD**

**Anyway, let's continue!**

**Disclaimer: Read the first chapter for it, because I don't want to repeat it again.**

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**Ch:2 Sexy Robe**

It was a quiet night at the city of Kavoc, with only the sound of chirping insects from outside breaking the silence. Their songs were peaceful and soothing… very much unlike the loud and raucous (and decidedly ear-shattering) 'singing' of Hagel from the weapon shop. It is true, as anyone who is not deaf would prefer the songs of the late night insects better, as their songs were peaceful and soothing to the ears of anyone who was not awake at that time of night.

Lita Blanchimont was one of them.

The teenage female brunette stared up at the ceiling with a tired sigh, turning from side to side in hopes of finding a comfortable position sleep with. She was unsuccessful, so she settled for looking up at the ceiling again with an annoyed sigh; her arms spread wide on either side of her, and her long brown hair sprawled out along the pillows.

She should have a blissful sleep filled with pleasant dreams by now. Mull was gone, the town was rebuilding with everyone helping, and the entire party was safe and well. Even Arlin, who they all thought was dead, was there with them now. The party had heard rumors about him appearing in a lone dungeon far from here, and they had sought him out to find out that the rumor was true.

The party had all decided to stay together longer to help with the rebuilding of the town, as well as tie up some loose ends before going on on their own ways, so they all were staying at the base, just like before.

Lita's happy, she really is. In fact, she even expected to get a good night's sleep by now…

…but she's just feeling so damn uncomfortable with her current sleepwear at that moment.

Lita let out a quiet groan (not wanting to wake the others in the separate rooms, the walls were not really all that thick) as she thought about the… the 'sexy robe' (or as Veola had enthusiastically named it) that she was wearing right now.

Normally, Lita would swear to the Mana Spirits and to any other divine entity that she would never, not even in a million years, even _think_about wearing the cursed thing (though Delsus would say otherwise, the pervert)… but if it hadn't been for Norn…

"This sucks…" She closed her eyes when she remembered what the feline-girl had done when the party was on their way back to Kavoc after their battle with Amalgam. It had gotten late, so the party had agreed to set up camp before continuing their way back to Kavoc.

Somewhere during the night, when it was Lita's turn to keep watch for a while. She had changed into her sleepwear yet, though she did leave it out next to her bag when she was done with night watch.

Norn, who was already asleep that time, had thrown off her blanket when she had tossed rather forcefully in her sleep. Noticing that she was missing a blanket, the half-asleep and exhausted young girl had reached out and grabbed what she _thought_was her missing blanket. In actuality, it was Lita's only sleeping gown. Unfortunately for the claw-wielding female, Norn was not aware of that fact.

The brunette teenager had entered their tent, only to see her favorite nightgown being drooled and chewed on, as well as some tears courtesy of Norn's sharp claws. To put it simply, Lita no longer has any desire to wear that nightgown again, in the condition that it was.

So that had left Lita with no choice but to sleep in her blood-stained, dirty purple battle attire for that night. Marietta does not carry any extra clothing (she only packs what is needed for herself), and she doesn't want to ask any of the boys for their clothes either.

After arriving in Kavoc the next day, Lita had immediately entered their house and slipped on a new outfit that was similar to the one she usually wore before going out to purchase a new nightgown for herself. Unfortunately, most of the clothing stores were closed, as the owners were helping with the reconstruction of the town. And she didn't want to rely on any of Veola's wacky outfits either.

So when night had fallen, Lita had grudgingly slipped into the only sleep-wear she has left with her at that time, and here she was now. The others were unaware of what she was wearing at that moment, and Lita planned to keep it that way. The sooner morning comes, the better.

Frustrated at her sleepless state, Lita threw off her covers before swinging her legs over to the side of the bed and sitting up. Maybe a glass of water would help… everyone should be asleep by now, so Lita won't have to worry about anyone seeing her in the humiliating sleep-wear now.

With that in mind, Lita quietly stepped out of the room, making sure to keep her steps light to prevent waking anyone up. After walking past everyone's rooms (she noted that Delsus was snoring quite loudly from his own, and had to stop herself from chuckling), she finally arrived at the dark kitchen. After lighting up a candle there, Lita pulled a glass from one of the shelves before filling it with tap water.

Satisfied, she turned off the tap before raising the glass to her lips and started drinking the cool liquid eagerly.

"Uhh… Lita?" A very familiar voice sounded from behind her, forcing her to stiffen in shock.

_'Oh no… please don't let it be who I think it is… please don't let it be who I think it is!'_

With the glass still pressed to her lips, Lita spun around so fast, her hair nearly whipped her cheeks. There, standing in front of the kitchen door with a confused and slightly dazed look on his face, was Klein Kiesling. The blonde alchemist stood there silently, blinking several times to get rid of the sleep in them. When he finally noticed what Lita was wearing, his blue eyes slowly widened as he became more awake.

The sexy-robe left _very_ little to the imagination. The robe was a light baby-blue blue in color, and had only stopped right past below the stomach. There were no buttons or zippers on it… the robe was only held together by a singly tiny pink ribbon at the neck-line, but that is enough to give Klein a full view of Lita's legs and her torso. Her breasts nearly peeked out from the robe, making Klein to start blushing. The only body-parts that were covered were Lita's arms, thanks to the robe's frilly sleeves.

If that wasn't enough, the blue robe was completely see-through. If it weren't so dark in the kitchen, Klein may have seen _much_ more than what he had bargained for.

"Ah… uhh... I thought… you were…" Klein immediately began stammering, his mind a jumbled mess right now. "I mean… it's late, and I- well… came out here to… um… read, because, ah~" He coughed, finding a very hard time to tear his eyes away from Lita's body, only embarrassing Lita further. "You look… no… wh-what I meant to say was…"

Unfortunately for the poor teenage male, he did not speak fast enough. Spitting out her drink and spraying it all the floor… Lita let out a shrill scream.

"KLEEEEIN~!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" The blonde winced it that, trying to get something out to defend himself, but failing miserably. "WHO SAID YOU CAN LOOK! GET OUT! GET OUT~!!"

Raising up her glass, a scarlet-faced Lita threw it at the alchemist, who jumped back to avoid it. The glass shattered into a million pieces on the floor.

To make things worse, the sound of running footsteps can be heard, before the door to the kitchen slammed open.

Arlin, with his hand on the sword next to him stepped in, looking more than ready to battle any intruders if necessary. He immediately stopped in the doorway when he saw only the two teenagers in the kitchen though, and his eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

"Is something the matter here?" The swordsman asked, his crimson eyes looking from Klein to Lita. After seeing the brunette's choice of clothing however, his eyes immediately focused back on Klein. There was an awkward silence between the three of them for a moment, before Arlin let out a quiet sigh, lowering his sword.

"I suppose not… I will leave you now." Closing his eyes, Arlin turned to leave the kitchen, only to stop when the door was suddenly was thrown open again, and Delsus and Marietta rushed in.

"What the hell happened!?" Delsus immediately asked after he entered the room.

"I thought I heard someone screa-" Marietta abruptly stopped talking when she saw Lita's 'interesting' sleep-wear at that moment. And, much to Lita's horror, Delsus immediately took notice too.

He couldn't help it. He really couldn't. Delsus _had_ to make a comment about all this!

"Well, well now… looks like some of us are up to some late night activities here!" He laughed jokingly, and the alchemist and the claw-wielding girl blushed even more than before, if that was even possible.

Shaking his head, Arlin chose that moment to silently leave the room; already bracing himself for the screaming that will inevitably start next as he walked back to his room.

"WHAAAT~!? IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!! I SWEAR!" That was Klein.

"DELSUS, YOU PERVERT! GET OUT, ALL OF YOU! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT~!! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!"

Picking up another glass from the shelves, Lita threw it towards the offending archer, who took the hint and immediately scrambled out of the kitchen, with a blushing Klein soon following him after.

Back in the kitchen, a very flushed-looking Lita was breathing heavily from all the screaming she let out just now. Quietly, Marietta took off the robe that she was wearing, revealing a dark-violet nightgown underneath, before draping it around the younger girl's shoulders. Even though she did not show it, Lita was glad for the extra clothing.

"Men are all so dirty-minded!" She huffed, blowing some of her bangs out of her eyes.

"Just relax, and go back to bed. And then the both of us can go shopping tomorrow for some more… suitable night wear for you." The red-haired knight patted Lita's shoulders in a comforting gesture, and the brunette sighed.

"…Help me think of something to get back at Delsus another time?" Lita asked hopefully, a mischievous smirk now spreading across her lips, and the older female chuckled.

"Why not? I'm sure it will be… fun." Marietta smiled back at the other girl.

From his bedroom, Delsus suddenly shuddered before getting back to his bed. "Must be just me," he remarked, oblivious to the two plotting females back in the kitchens.

And in Klein's bedroom, a certain wood mana was laughing hysterically as his master lumbered back to his bed, still blushing.

"Popo… never remind me of this again, alright?" Klein asked tiredly, and the fairy snorted.

"Whatever you say, ol' buddy!"

Oh… he can't _wait _to tell Pilke and the other manas about this!

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**8D**

**I'm so proud of this one! Oh, and just in case some of you don't remember… Pilke is the mana that hangs out at the bar, and who is also Delsus' perverted friend. XD**

**Ciao, ciao!**


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